Poor Harley
by The makeup freak
Summary: Harley should've known better. But how was she to realize her puddin' wouldn't like this. No, her puddin' didn't like this. He didn't want it. How would she tell him?


Dear Mistah J;

I've been trying to tell you this for weeks, I've just never found the right words

I don't know how to say this, Joker…

I love you so much puddin' and I think it's time we took our relationship to the next

When are you going to accept the fact that we belong together!?

I hate you No! I take that back! Puddin', I'd never…

What I'm trying to say here is… I love you, mistah J. I know that and you know that. And you see… Well, something's come up- something wrong. Bad-good… Who knows? I wanna tell ya- but it's so hard tah. Ahh, I should just say it- well, write it. Here it goes. Please forgive me for this, puddin'… I have to say it. I gotta tell yah that I'm… I'm...

She didn't finish the letter. Why would she? Heck, she was going to throw it away until she heard heavy footsteps heaving their way up those wood steps. Folding the paper quickly and carelessly, she tossed it into her underwear drawer and ran over to her vanity mirror just as the clown walked in. Harley swiftly ran her brush through her blonde hair that she'd taken out of her usual pig tails. She hoped Joker wouldn't notice her trembling- shoot, yes. She was trembling. Thank goodness he couldn't tell.

Dancing over to the harlequin sat at her mirror, the clown wore a beautiful, proud smile on his painted face as he grabbed Harley by the waist and pulled her up.

"Hello pooh~!" Sang the clown as he laid a kiss on Harley's forehead. Well he seemed to be in a good mood--- _great. _

Giving a nervous chuckle, Harley smiled weakly at her boss. "Hiyah puddin'." She coughed out. Oops, hope that wasn't too noticeable.

Joker let her go and sat in the chair in the corner of their room. He'd missed that; good. Letting out a deep exhale of relief, Harley relaxed her posture. It didn't feel… _good _when he had his hands on her stomach- heck, it'd feel good any other time. Any other time at all, she'd beg for him to touch her… but not now. Not when she was---

She couldn't say it. She couldn't think it. She couldn't even write it down. Because it was so unreal!

She wasn't _really… _I mean, there was no way in hell she was—but it would make sense, of course because of the…

Fuck a tree, Harley Quinn was pregnant. And with _The Joker _of all people! Not that _that _was what she was concerned about. Oh, Harley had had her fair share of fantasies about the clown and having kids with him was defiantly in that category. Cringing, she tried to forget about it all as her puddin' spoke.

"- And you should'a seen it, baby! Bang; bang! Hahahhaha- even bats was wonderin' what I was doin'." Laughed the crazed clown. He was probably going on about something to do with what had happened today when he'd went to rob a bank without him.

"Mhmmm." Harley tried to sound interested. She wasn't. There was only one thing on her mind right now… Well, no. Not exactly… A couple of things.

Like what Joker would do if he found out! Oh, he'd flip his lip. She'd been thrown out and never see him again. NO! She had to block her mind from those kinds of thoughts; they'd cause sharp tears of sorrow to leak from her blue orbs. Shaking her head rapidly, she did as she wanted and rid her head of the thoughts of him sacking her.

Glancing at the clock on their bedside table, Joker gasped. "My, my! Look at the time, Harls." Yawned the clown in between words. "We better get to bed." He commented, darting his tongue to his crimson scares. It was late, but she wasn't tired. Sliding into bed after throwing off his purple suit and purple pants; leaving himself in a green undershirt and purple boxers; the clown settled down in the comport of their bed. Harley followed him in and shyly sat beneath the covers like a frightened child. "What's wrong, pumpkin pie? You seem awfully tired tonight." Noticed Joker.

Uh-oh.

Would now be the time to tell him? Ohhh, she wanted to. Peeking up at him through the small lift of the bed sheets from her eyes; her baby blue hues settled on his own pair of dark eyes. "I gsta tell chu somtin' puddin." She muttered, but he didn't understand her. She'd have to repeat herself. Eeep- this was already getting hard. Raising an eyebrow, Joker eased himself closer to her.

"What?" He asked her, a confused tone in his voice.

"I have to tell you something." She said more clearly. Now he was paying attention.

Taking a deep breath, Harley continued. "I'm just going to come out and say it." Declared the harlequin, but she was already stuttering. "Mistah J. I'm… I-I'm… Pregnant." She spat out the last word like a bad taste she needed to rid from her tongue. Shutting her eyes tightly and hiding them with her hands, she listened to the sound of the silent nothingness coming from her boss. Oh crap.

Was he mad? Was he horrified? Was he fuming with anguish? Did he have thoughts of killing her? Was she going to regret this? Was he regretting it? Regretting her? Regretting sleeping with her…?

The truth was… He was. All of the above.

Harley slowly dropped her hands from her eyes, letting her blue orbs open carefully to get a quick glance at Joker's face… Yes. He was mad. And _she _was gonna get it.


End file.
